Pennies Dreadful!!

 Extract from Windfall of the Wise.

It started way back in the dim and distant past, and has continued on right up until now.

  They must have had a great laugh when they dreamed up the currency wheeze folks! You can just imagine the conversation:


  ‘Hey man, I got lots of stuff to do, but I don’t wanna do it. Boo Hoo! What can I do?’

  ‘I know! Let’s get the plebs do it!’

   ‘Great idea. But how do I persuade them?’

  ‘Easy! Introduce a system of currency. Make it compulsory-so they cannot trade or live without it.’

  ‘Yeah, So what?’

  ‘Du-Huh!! Offer them this money for them to do your stuff for you; don’t forget we’ll have made it compulsory, so it’s an offer they can’t refuse. Sweet or what! And they‘re gonna have to use this money to buy anything else they need to live. Hey, they can buy it off us!-No money, no stuff, equals starvation. That’ll focus their minds!’

  ‘But will they really go for it?’

  ‘They’ll have to. It’ll be the law.’

  ‘But they were happy with the barter system, what if they refuse to co-operate?’

  ‘Barter, farter! That aint never gonna make us rich anyway! Look, we can always get it back after we’ve paid them. Call it…um…taking the shirts off their backs.’

  ‘Bit long winded that though innit?’

  ‘O.K. What about this…taking, take, t, their backs, acks…t, acks. I know! I know! I got it! Call it tacks.’

  ‘How about…TAX… Its kinda snappy-I like it!’

  ‘Yeah, we can get ‘em to do our work, pay ‘em a pittance. We get the buzz of feeling like Lord Bountiful, and then bask in their grateful gibberings! And then we take most of it back…we tax ‘em, and keep it for ourselves. Sweet as a nut mate!’

  ‘They’re not gonna like it.’

  ‘Well if they don’t, fuck ‘em! Let ‘em starve!’

  ‘Oh yeah, I forgot, we’re in charge round here…Yeah, Fuck ‘em!’


So began the age of capitalism, and the ruling classes were born.


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